A Week of Looking Like Someone Else

I started today on a roughly week-long family vacation. Destination: Florida. More specifically, that happiest place on earth, Disney World. I am, of course, really excited and absolutely do not want to seem ungrateful for the no-doubt fabulous vacation for which my parents are paying.

I am, however, also apprehensive about the trip. It’s Florida (which means hot); it’s Disney (which means we’ll be outside a lot); and it’s my family (which means that there are some things, gender-wise, that I’m not yet sharing). More to the point, my wardrobe is drastically different from what I would otherwise wear (mostly due to the fact that it will be extremely hot out, but also partly because we’re sharing luggage, and that calls for a bit of self-editing).

I did not bring a single binder, which makes me anxious. In the roughly three weeks (it seems like it’s been so much longer) that I have had binders in my possession, I have gone no more than a day or so without binding. I just don’t like how it looks when I don’t, and it makes me really uncomfortable and self-conscious. Not so fun.

I also brought virtually no boy clothes (yes, I’m aware of the issues with gendering clothes, but let’s just think of it as code words for the various types of clothes that do and don’t make me feel good about myself), only the shorts and graphic tee that I wore on the airplane today. Basically everything else is shorts (all rather shorter and more fitted than I’m really easy with) and ribbed tanks (that cling in mentally uncomfortable ways).

If it weren’t so warm (or we were to be indoors most of the time), I would bring clothes that make me happy–the clothes I’ve been wearing all summer. If I weren’t going with my family, I might choose to wear my regular clothes (long boy shorts or jeans and polos, mainly) and risk overheating. But my mom is rather against overheating, so that wasn’t an option.

Still, I’m hoping to just ignore the whole clothing issue to the very best of my ability all week. It promises to be a great vacation, and I don’t want to ruin it by stressing over what I’m wearing (or what I’m not wearing). I will be back home (and thus back to my clothes) in ten days. The countdown begins now.