Tag Archives: community

The Importance of Coming Out

Coming out is important to me. I know for some people, it’s not a big deal — they can really take it or leave it. For others, it’s this awkward thing that would perhaps better be circumvented by dropping hints, letting people draw their own conclusions, or an offhand remark about their past (prior to transitioning or coming out as not being cisgendered).¬†And all that is fine; however people choose to come out, or not come out, is their business.

For me, though, it’s important to directly, explicitly come out as trans. Part of this is for people who knew me before — before I started to use different pronouns, before I started going by Ryan, mostly before I moved to Chicago. I can drop all of the hints I want, I can go on for ages about how awesome GQC is, and unless I specifically tell them that I’m trans, they’ll still consider me a woman (after all, the clothes can be attributed to me being a “lesbian,” and the interest in trans issues can be attributed either to my involvement with the LBGT community or to my concentration in Gender and Sexuality in college, including my thesis on dismantling the binary systems of gender and sex). Continue reading


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Emotional Rollercoaster

So, I told my parents today that I’m going by Ryan now, at least to the new people I meet. It didn’t go as well as I’d hoped it would. Don’t get me wrong — I love my parents, and they love me. I am very lucky, especially compared to a lot of queer and trans people, and I completely recognize that. Continue reading

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Saving Grace

No, I’m not referring to the tv show. I’m actually talking about a group I recently joined here, GenderQueer Chicago. I’ve only been to two meetings, but it is changing my life. I know that sounds incredibly hyperbolic and melodramatic, but I’m actually serious.

I’m partly referring to the group itself, but I more mean the people in the group and the cameradrie they have so freely extended to me. Last week, a group of us went to eat afterward. This week, a largely different (and much larger) group of us took over the back corner of a nearby bar. Beer and wings were consumed, much conversation was to be had, and there was even a particularly queer (and awesome) makeup application session going on. It was grand. Continue reading

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